The Art Of Listening

Every time when we are in trouble we, seek people to find answers for our problems. The answers can be in the form of advice, suggestions, cross-questions or pure laughter on the problem.

But sometimes we only seek someone who has patience in mind and empathy in heart and good listening skill. The one who can just listen without giving advice or suggestion. The person who can understand and realize that only listening helps in pouring the heart and makes the other person feel lighter. The listening should be without judgement, bias or any application of mind. It has to be from the heart.

The suffering person speaks from his heart and the listener listens from the heart. It's pure and pious. Just soul to soul and one of the soul lightens.

Why even when we want someone to listen to us but just can't express ourselves. This happens with everyone, isn't it?

It's because of the absence of an empathetic ear to listen without being judged about the situation. We have fear to explicitly tell our real feelings because of insecurity that someone might just hurt us or we can be looked down upon it.

I can remember a story, long back when I was travelling by train. There was a girl sitting on the upper berth, I could feel the sobbing sound around midnight. The train was almost empty and I was feeling vulnerable also. I called her down and calmed her. She was cold and shivering. Though the AC was high I could sense it was not that.

I asked her some greeting questions and she replied in monosyllabic words. After the ice broke between us she told me that she belongs to a very conservative family and her mother has asked her not join the job she got in her college placement. It was a high paying job and she is going to join that job without their affirmation.

She told me how happy things would have been if her parents had agreed to her decision to join the job in a different city. She wants to do a lot of things for them but just wants little motivation and support from them. Her heart is in pain for a fight with them but somewhere she knows the decision was tough and right. She told me that she will always call them and try to convince them.

In this whole situation, she never asked for an affirmation, advice or motivating words. She just wants to pour the heaviness in her heart.

It was almost morning by then, in an hour or so my destination came and I bid her goodbye with wishes for her new job. Her face was lit, I could see that she was content and surely not sobbing for the big decision. With a happy face and smile, she said, "Thank you for being patient enough."

That time I realised sometimes just listening is important than any other help.

So, I wish that everyone gets that empathetic listener in our life at times of need and become one when others need it.