Childhood Emotional Neglect

Human beings are born with wide range of emotions. For example: Anger, love, fear, happiness, disgust etc. Emotions are subjective experiences that involve physiological arousal ( increase/decrease in heart rate, sweating, piloerection etc.) and cognitive appraisal (subjective interpretation of an event).

Family dysfunction rolls down from generations to generation, like a fire in the woods, taking down everything in it’s path until one person in one generation has the courage to turn and face the flames. That person brings peace to their ancestors and spares the children that follow -Terry Real

Childhood emotional neglect is the result of our parents inability to validate and respond adequately to our emotional needs. Those who have or are experiencing it can hardly identify it, because it doesn’t leave any visible bruises or scars but it’s hurtful and confusing. Unlike adults, children experience a quick cycle of different emotions all at the same time; from being too happy to becoming too sad. It is very important to develop a secure and loving relationship with one’s child.

Feeling of worthlessness as an adult usually stem from being emotionally neglected as a child . The root cause of all our insecurities is fear, and it is shaped by our past experiences. Emotional negligence may develops into a fear of abandonment, it can come from not getting enough physical or emotional care.

This fear affects our life, our self understanding and perception of the world around us. It can ruin our lives and maybe our children’s, as we hand this toxic instinct down to generations without considering the need to balance it. Instead of trying to hide these insecurities, we should try to overcome them. It’s not an easy task but the outcome will give us peace and comfort. The effort is always worth it in the long run.

Effects Of Childhood Emotional Neglect

• Poor impulse control

• Social withdrawal

• Problems with coping & regulating emotions

• Low self-esteem

• Pathological behaviors such as tics, tantrums, stealing and self-punishment

• Poor intellectual functioning and low academic achievement.

Sometimes we take the neglect personally without knowing the fact that our parents are accustomed to it since generations and start to believe that we are missing something. Like maybe if we were prettier or smarter we would get the time and attention that our heart want from our parents. When we don’t get it from them, we then seek it somewhere else. We seek it from the opposite sex, the general public and places that may not be as fulfilling, keeping that craving active and never really satisfied.