Love is the most purest form of emotion. We go on designing in our mind the concept of love as we grow up. How do you understand that it is love ?
When I was a child I remember that when someone giggled with me, played with me, I understood that person love me. I knew that teachers can never love children because they scold and terrorize children always to make them study. I had a home tutor. I used to call her 'aunty'. I never regarded her as my teacher. I was never afraid of her. She was very calm and composed. She used to play with me and hear all my gossips like how I spent my entire day at school. I didn't know to see clock. So I used to ask my mom that how much time is left for the clock to struck 4pm because that was her time to come. I used to be always excited to say her everything. That was a kind of love. Time passed. I switched from Tom and Jerry to Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. I understood love in a new way. I understood that if a boy becomes my best friend, he is the perfect match for me. I started looking my male friends and tried to make them my best friend. I fell for some of them but as I looked very dull no one became interested.
I grew up and understood further about it. Love is all about attachment. When my loved one was upset, I too started feeling the same vibration i.e., being upset because it was natural. My love became conditional like suppose if she talks with me everyday and one day she didn't I feel like she don't love me and I felt down. She needed to understand that I am sad or else I would feel like she never loved me so she never understood my feelings and I am hurt. This is one kind of living life.
I read about BK Shivani's thought of life. Now I understand love in a different way. I love someone like she is someone very close to me. My love isn't depended on her. My state of mind doesn't fluctuate with her behaviour. I am just myself irrespective of what she does for me. Love is equals to care. Often we say to our loved ones that I love you so I worry for you. Worry is something very negative. When we attach so much with someone that means our love becomes conditional like suppose I love her so she need to return the love equally or more than that. If I ever feel i love her more than she love me I would complain like see I love you more I have done that for you and what you have done for me. You don't understand me and at last we say no one loves me.
When she shares with me her problem I remain stable and strong. I do not add pain to her existing pain. This is the new way of living life . Being detached doesn't mean being separate from everyone. It means being more for them without keeping any expectation from them. Detachment means not getting disturbed by their behaviour. It is the best present you can give to your loved ones.