6 Ways To Confront Your Fears

This post was developed via a partnership with BetterHelp.

Life can either feel like a video game (full of new and wondrous things to discover!) or like a dark closet (full of scary shadows that you don’t want to touch)-- it all depends on your perspective and your ability to handle fear.

Fear doesn’t just have to be a specific phobia. It could also be a fear of failure, or a fear of social situations, or even just a general anxious feeling. Either way, there are many things that you can do about fear to empower yourself and learn to confront fear with confidence. 

Remember, those who are courageous haven’t learned to not feel fear, but they have learned to act confidently, even in the face of fear!

1. Acknowledge And Recognize The Fear

Notice the fear, and separate it from yourself. Just because you are feeling fearful, that doesn’t mean that the fear is justified or that there is a real, legitimate reason to feel fearful. For example, there are people who feel genuinely terrified of simply going outside, for example. Does that mean that it is horribly dangerous to step outside? No! But fear is not rational. Think of your emotions as rain storms that will pass instead of as incorrigible parts of your identity. 

2. Learn About The Thing You Fear

Sometimes we are just like little kids: afraid of the dark. We can have a tendency to feel afraid of the things that we don’t understand.

If you are afraid of something, try learning about it in a safe way. Read about it, study it, and watch videos. You might find that the more you learn about it, the less scary it becomes. 

3. Slowly Expose Yourself To Your Fear

Sometimes when we are afraid of something, we might feel the temptation to burrow away and never approach it again. Maybe you’re afraid of flying, so you decide that you simply will not travel, or you are afraid of people, so you decide that you will simply not put yourself in new social situations. But this response can severely limit our life experiences and our own personal growth. It can also cause us to fear irrationally or start to develop other fears as well, to the point where fear can start to take over.

Instead, therapists usually suggest something called exposure therapy. Exposure therapy is the process of slowly exposing yourself to the thing that you are afraid of, bit by bit, and giving yourself chances to calm down between sessions. Over time, people tend to find that the thing they fear loses power over them because, in small steps, they learn that they can approach this situation and no longer be afraid. Your mind logically concludes: I got close, and nothing happened. Perhaps I don’t need to be so fearful.

4. Virtual Reality Exposure

If you don’t want to expose yourself to something you are afraid of in real life, then it could be helpful to try VR Exposure therapy. VR exposure therapy is based on the same concept as exposure therapy, but instead of exposing yourself in person, you can expose yourself to the situation through virtual reality.

Say, for example, you are afraid of snakes. You can interact with snakes in virtual reality, then take off the VR mask and realize that nothing happened, even though it felt like the snakes were real. VR exposure therapy is a way of training the mind to not be afraid. BetterHelp, for example, offers virtual reality therapy. 

5. Mindfulness And Metacognition

Metacognition is thinking about thinking. You can use it to recognize thought patterns and how your own brain works– from inside your brain. By understanding how you think, you can recognize when fear will arise, and how to tamper it. 

Some way to tamper fear include mindfulness techniques. These are common techniques like taking your attention to your breath, reflecting on how you feel, releasing tension, and clearing your mind.

Mindfulness is just like any other skill: the more you practice it, the better you get at it. So, when you are not afraid, try practicing mindfulness and meditation techniques, even if you are already feeling calm. That way, when you need to use the same techniques when you are feeling afraid, you can easily step into that state of mind, regardless of your surroundings. 

6. Break Down Your Fears Into Parts

Sometimes, the fear can seem overwhelming because it is one large concept, instead of a series of steps. Say that you are afraid of surfing. Instead of thinking that you cannot surf, think instead of all the steps that compromise surfing, and conquer your fear of each one. Perhaps the first step is simply going into the water. Practice going into the water many times until you are comfortable with that step. Then, maybe you are afraid of swimming in ocean water above your head. Swim in that environment, even without a surfboard, and return to the shore, many times until it no longer scares you. Eventually, you can incorporate going into the waves with a surfboard, and even riding a wave, because you broke the whole process down into actionable steps, instead of looking at it as one, big frightening experience.