Deserve Better

The keys made a considerable loud thud as I placed them on the drawers. Not that I intended on keeping it low but the emptiness of the apartment made it sound even more vociferous. The darkness was absolute. But for some reason, I didn't feel like lightening the candles I just bought. The seclusion was more relatable to my current mood.

The apartment was small but for someone in my position, it was enough. My mother always said, "Get a house before you get a car because no matter what shit is going on in your life, you will always have a place to call home." It was only very wise of me to take that advice and there I was in my empty apartment after a failed marriage. At least I had a place to hold my back when everything in my life was going wrong.

I crashed on the couch. A bad marriage can do havoc in your life. It is like all the believes you had nurtured for so long just come crashing in the blink of an eye and all you are left with is empty hopes. Yes, stupid empty hope that everything will be fine one day. It was this empty hopes that made me check my phone every one minute. I had been out of the house for almost 12 hours but he hadn't even bothered to know where I was. I felt like an idiot, used and thrown away like a tissue paper. With a sudden burst of frustration, I threw my phone on the other side of the couch. Maybe this was the time to apprehend the circumstances. It was over.

How did things turn this way? I remembered the day we first met in the cafe. The lame punch line he used as a conversation starter still makes me smile. Then we were dating, going on vacations together and under a star stud night in the mountains, we were engaged. The marriage took months of planning and he made sure it appeared right out of a fairy tale book. Those were some beautiful days. But then there I stood alone wondering how did everything escalate so fast?

A knock on the door distracted me from the trail of unpleasant memories that followed.

Who could that be? How did anyone even know I was here? Was it him? My pulse rate doubled in anxiety. I was not sure if I was ready to face him yet. But I part of me couldn't hold the desire to hear him out. Maybe behind the door was lying the solution to all my problems. Just get the door honey- a voice in my brain said- politely yet commandingly. Ignoring all the voices in my brain that said otherwise, I rushed to the door and swung it open.

My heart almost jumped in anticipation. I don't know if I was relieved or disappointed when I saw the person standing outside.

"Saurav? Wh-What are you doing here?", I asked, puzzled.

The man just grinned at my confusion.

"Hey. Did someone order Champaign?", he said, raising the bottle in his hand. Champaign? Seriously? What are we celebrating? My failed life?

He shamelessly barged in, smirking at my baffled expression. "Come on woman, let me in. I have pizza too."

"How did you even know I am here?", I finally asked, getting over the confusion.

"Wasn't it obvious? You said you were having problems with the man and you didn't reply to my text today. It was a joke, petty funny."

"Oh" I said as if that was the most matter of fact explanation. Yea, Saurav has always been a Sherlock Holmes. Sometimes I hate it when he just figures out things this effortlessly but that day I wasn't mad. I needed someone to talk to at that moment and there he was like an angel saving mankind, or womankind, whatever. For an instant, I felt like throwing myself in his arms and crying out my heart. But then I somehow controlled myself. Week people cry. I was determined I won’t let this failure affect my life.

My best friend had already made himself comfortable on the couch.

"Why is it so dark in here? What's up with the lights?"

I wanted to reply "I was doing voodoo", instead I asked “Candles?”

“Yes, please. Before you transform into a vampire and suck my blood. Candles will be great.”

I couldn’t help but beam at this one. "Guess we have to do without glasses". He offered me the bottle.

I literally snatched the bottle from his hand. I hadn't had anything the entire day. Until that moment I hadn't even realized how thirsty I was.

"Woah! Easy woman" the man commented as I gulped down half of the drink in a sip. Felling a little less parched, I perched beside him. Maybe it was the wine or the bad day in general, I wanted to cry. Cry out loud. Saurav started at me for a while. The tears were so uncontrollable that I couldn't meet his gaze. I knew he wanted to say something-something to console me. But then he was smart. He knew that words weren't enough. I leaned on his shoulder just to let him know I understand. I heard Saurav take a swig before speaking again.

"See I think, whatever happens, happens for a reason. It was his loss."

I sob escaped my shaking lips. He tightened his grip around my shoulder.The tears were becoming harder to restrain. I looked at the ceiling trying to pull myself together.

“So how is it going with Priya?”, I asked to change the subject.

“Yea…fine”, he said reluctantly. From the tune, I knew it was not.

“I always knew she was an ass.”

He looked at me. Even though my gaze was on the bottle, I knew he was taken aback by my remark. But then he gave in pretending it was ’fine’ and remarked “You are right. Ass.” A deep sigh followed.

“Gosh, how did we end up with all these wrong people?”

"I don’t know about myself but you-you deserve better."

For an instant, I looked at him. The next moment I was kissing him. His tie was wrapped around my arm and I was straddling him. It felt so obvious, so right. As if this was all I needed.His tougue found mine and his arms pulled me closer. All the problems seemed to dessipate in the heat of our bodies.

Everything was going perfect till there was a sound. A light flashed.

The room was filled with the noise of a very familiar tune, my ringtone. The phone lying on the side of the couch directly stared at me. It was him. In the dark room, the light from the phone directly fell on us as the light of the police helicopter finds a criminal. The screen displayed his picture. Even though he was smiling in the picture, that day the smile looked twisted, filled with despise. It was as if he was staring directly at me through the phone screen.

Shame and disgust welled up my stomach. How could I do this?

I dropped on the sofa covering my face. The tears finally escaped. I don’t know what happened to Saurav. Probably he left. But I didn’t care. All I cared about was how he would feel when he sees me like this. Sadly I didn't have an answer.