Our life would be bliss when we all have a sister, and having an elder one would feel like you have two mothers. My life was blessed with her, my lovely sister named Deepi. From the day I remember seeing her I could sense her innocence and her way of sacrificing her happiness for someone else all the time. Like everybody else in the world we fight over little silly things, hate each other, constantly complains about our fights to parents, and all the shit happened. While sharing the food we love, like a naughty younger one I’ll wait for her to finish so that I can eat at last without giving to make her feel jealous, keeping the TV remote in my hand was the biggest success at that time, “Leave it, She’s a little girl and you must adjust” was lovely words I ever hear, I can get my favorite dress, toys with two drops of tears or sometimes just acting like I am gonna cry.

The years passed, we grew up together. It was filled with much love and maturity. We both lived so happily, we adjusted every little thing, had so much of fun even learning few bad words, people wonder why do we laugh always, from looking at boys to talking dirty things we stood together. There were no personal pieces of stuff between us, from knowing her crush secrets to reading all her messages together was one of my excitements. Every Sunday we used to spend time in our bedroom watching our favorite movies. When something fishy has happened at home, my mother would be baffled who did as we don’t do stupid things alone.

By the time when she completed her graduation, parents started their job to push her into the life which she has no interest, but that doesn’t matter as they live with an attitude based on what people say and with honor, never bothered about her own dreams. Marriage is not about age; it’s about finding the right person. She was in love with the boy who doesn’t belong to the same caste, the problem became bigger and finally, she gotta choose between parents and him. We can’t please everyone, and we can’t make everyone like us, she has chosen him and started her journey towards love.

After that, I feel my home was just cement and bricks. I felt like I had lost my hands and cannot do any of my kinds of stuff. At the other side, I can see my parents feel for losing their honor and fear of society talks. Though I imagined her wedding should be filled with my friends, dancing and the fun and excitement I was concerned only about her happiness. Deep inside I wanna see my sister’s happiness, want to see how she is looking after she got married, and to tease her looking at her shyness towards her new life. When she got pregnant I wanna touch her stomach and talk to her baby, wishing it would be a girl inside her stomach, being her aunt I want to be her best friend, also her partner in crime. Whenever I go home my baby would come and hug me with so much of love, which makes me feel to spend the rest of my life with her.

As imagined it was a girl but the other stuff I wished had reminded as a dream. I could see her baby once in 6 months as my parents don’t allow me to take any decisions for my choice. I buy toys, dresses for my baby but I cannot surprise her as soon as I get. I do miss all her little moments, from her first cry to her little foot touching this earth, missing the day when she was named first, the pain cannot be described by words when I missed her first b ‘day. I cry so many times wanting to shout at my mother not to live for the society but every time I stop myself looking at their innocence. The horrible part was when my baby doesn’t even recognize me as her aunt. My phone will be filled with tears by seeing most of her cute moments.

What heals better than time was the only hope I keep in my heart till this minute. Though I miss many of the lovely moments, I am waiting for the day when everything will be perfect, when her little foot touch my home and taking her only with me. When the world is having a desire for getting into high paid jobs, making more money, buying a big home, I wish to have my friend back. I need my sister back; I want her in my bedroom gossiping till 1 AM, wanna go shopping with her as she knows what suits me perfectly. Waiting for her, my happiness.

#If my parents sacrificed their ego, if the society mouth has been shut, if happiness was more important than honor and respect, if there was kindness towards their grandchildren or if people listened to their heart and not what the brain told, all my dreams would have come true.

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