If you ever get weary of people telling you to stay strong
Remember that it is never wrong
To be weak, to take time to heal
To grieve, to process all that you feel
Remember that you don't need to have it all together
Through every storm and strong wind you weather
Find freedom within everything you feel
Instead of looking forward to the four-minute venting sessions as a welcome release
Our secret emotions are one of the realest things
But suppressing them each time is like tying up our wings
In their expression we create art
We liberate ourselves, no more hide and seek
We learn to fly only because we fall apart
We find strength only because we are weak.
I wrote this when I got to know that an acquaintance of mine lost a loved one. There were so many people telling this person to stay strong. Comments, stories and posts that so many people put up to comfort her, but all of them ended with the phrase – stay strong. It is a very common thing to say and we think it’s comforting or encouraging even. But when she was facing such a loss, I wondered how she could stay strong. Maybe, she felt weak and the last thing she wanted to hear at that moment was people telling her that she should stay strong. Sometimes, it’s okay. It’s okay to be vulnerable, to grieve, to let go and to cry. There’s nothing wrong with being weak. We were created as humans, we are not invincible or emotionless. We try so hard not to fall apart and pretend that everything is alright because we think that is what it means to have strength. Real strength is acknowledging your weaknesses and giving yourself the time to heal. To experience every emotion and remind yourself that it's okay to feel that way. Don’t bottle everything up until it causes damage. You are free to talk it out, write it down or have a good cry. This is how we learn to become fearless, to transform the pain into something positive and to grow from that place. Life will hit you hard sometimes, but feel all that you have to feel and find hope where you are. Moving on is not as easy as it sounds but it is possible once you have mourned. Healing only comes from acknowledging the wounds you hide. So stop hiding them. You do not have to stay strong.
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