Amour : A Well Explained Mystery

Everyone wants to fall in love, no one wants to stay.

~ Ashely John

Love is defined by any dictionary as something along the lines of this, an intense feeling of deep affection.

Love is something that is beautiful and urges us to adore someone to the smallest pieces of them even in the darkest of times. When people see just the flaws in someone, love tends to make us see those flaws as perfection. When that one person touches you, you feel like the stars are dancing across the wide sky. You feel safe and calm and at peace when you're with this person, you also feel like you're on a rollercoaster ride. It's so beautiful and enchanting, even with the hardships you face it just feels so worth.

I'd also like to point out that we like to think of love as an ethereal thing that’s controlled by forces beyond our understanding, however, the truth is that there is a biological explanation of love. Love is simply a cocktail of neurons, hormones, and love.

There are three types of love, AGAPE-unconditional love, EROS-romantic love, PHILIA-affectionate love, PHILAUTIA-self love, STORGE-familiar love, PRAGMA-enduring love, LUDUS-playful love, MANIA-obsessive love.

Agape- Unconditional love
It is an altruistic, selfless, unconditional love. Some would describe agape as a type of spiritual love. For instance, Christians believe that Jesus exhibited this kind of love for all humans. He was selfless and sacrificed Himself so that others could be rid of their sins. This is unconditional love.

Eros- Romantic love

It is an expression of sexual passion and desire. This is the kind of love that is considered dangerous. It burns hot and bright but burns out fast. Though it is very powerful, it results in going out of control leading to heartbreaks.

Philia- Affectionate love

It is the kind of love that you feel for your friends. It is a respected love between two people who respect each other and consider each other equals. This is platonic love, a love with no sexual desires.

Philautia- Self love

A way to look at self-love is by thinking about it as self-compassion. Like you show affection and love to another person, you must also show that same affection and love to yourself. How can you give something that you don't have? Learn to love yourself first.

Storge- Familiar love

This type of love looks and feels a lot like philia. However, this love is more like a parent-child love. Similar to philia, there is no physical or sexual attraction, but there is a strong bond and familiarity between people.

Pragma- Enduring love

It is the opposite of eros. Eros is something that burns out quickly because of its passion and intensity. However, pragma is a love that has matured and developed over a long period of time. This type of love doesn’t require a lot of effort in a relationship. Both people are good at making compromises, and each of them puts in equal efforts to make the other person happy.

Ludus- Playful love

It is the feeling of infatuation in the early days of romance. If you’ve been in love before, you know what I’m talking about. It’s the butterflies in your stomach, the light-headedness you feel when you see your love, the excitement and all the blushing, the dreams and plans, all those little romantic scenarios in your head. Research shows that when feeling this kind of love, peoples brain acts like they're high or on drugs. In short, this type of love makes you feel alive and can cause heartbreaks.

Mania- Obsessive love

Mania is not necessarily considered a good type of love, because it leads the person to be super obsessive. It’s the type of love that can lead someone into madness, jealousy, or even anger. That is because the balance between eros and ludus is terribly tipped off.

Many people who experience this type of love suffer from low self-esteem. They are scared to lose the person or object they love, and this fear compels them to say or do some crazy things. If not kept under control, mania can be very destructive.