Love And I.

I don't remember the beginning of Love in my life,
But from where I can recall:

Love and I, we started off as friends.
Friends so good that we almost finished reading all the pages of our pasts, in maybe just a few weeks.

Although, Love and I, mind you, were both introverts.
Love and I, we signed up for kiddish deals.
A deal which said if he ever falls for a girl, he'd have to do anything I say.
He said a clear No, whereas I, secretly knew, I'd win this bet.

Love and I, we argued like kids fighting for toys.
It was always I who won,
Because Love,
Love always said sorry in the end.
Love and I, we stayed most of the days together,
Finding the stupidest excuse to meet and go places,
And Love, Love never denied.
We shared songs, not like normal people with the same music taste do.
It was the words we failed to say, or too scared to accept.
Love and I, we were different now.
Love now utilised the best of 1.5Gb data, 100 text messages, and still had so much left to say over the unlimited calls.

Love told me everything.

There were few nights
When Love and I, we stayed up talking on calls till 5 Am
Till we both heard birds chirping outside the window, and he, out of much concern, finally put me to sleep.

When mind you,
Love used to sleep at a sharp 11, back in time.
Love and I, we missed each other
On every day that we were away.
I, if you know, am not a very cry-person,
But I cried every time that Love left.

I, I was different now.
Love, to me, was different now.
They told me about fast heartbeats, and flying butterflies, everytime you love someone.
But whenever I saw Love,
My heartbeats slowed to normal and mind all chilled and calm.
No wonder, I was unsure of what I felt.
Love too, nowadays, shied away when he saw me.

The day wasn't too far when...
Love and I,
realized what we felt.
I didn't know if I could name the feeling on his name.
Because for me, I knew only one Love.
Him.
Love and I, we were in the ring now.
Flowers blossomed, butterflies all over and a million promises were made over bike rides, evening walks and midnight phone calls.

Love and I, were happy now.

I wasn't sure about how long "happy" lasts
I knew it'd last as long as We did.
Thunderstorms crossed our way,
And oh, did Love forget to tell you that I was too too scared of them?
Love had started forgetting things now.
I blamed the stress, and reminded him all I could.

Love started fighting now,
He raised his voice, yelled at me
Said things as bad as I did.
The 1.5 Gb data wondered why only 50% of it was consumed now.
The text messages had anger streaming over it and the unlimited calls, were oh so limited.
Love and I, were reckless now.

I felt like I had won the bet for the second time now,
Was it another 'I' that he had found?
Love didn't clear my doubts anymore.
Love, brought insecurities.
Love, started being furious, aggressive.
I was scared,
But mind you, I was no less.
Love didn't say sorry anymore.
Love and I, we were changed now.

Love and I, we now had stopped understanding each other, I thought.
His words were German to me and my words were Greek.
When in real, we only spoke in terms of sarcasm and emoticons.
Love and I, were both new to this language.
I, if you notice, am still not a cry person
But I did cry every night ever since.
Love was now stressed too,
He had dark patches around his eyes, that I adored with so much love.
It did hurt, I know
But we both turned blind to the other.
Tackling the problem, we thought.
Love and I, we were adults now.

Just one of these days, when I thought,
Maybe there's nothing called Love, it's only his name!
I sank on the bathroom floor, with mascara and kohl running down my eyes,
My cold heart suddenly gave me a shutter of shock.
Love and I, were real now.
Love was always there,
For every time I had ever been alone,
For every night when sleep didn't come easy to me,
For every minute that I was too angry to listen,
For every time I pushed Love to go,
Love stayed.
In all his ways.
Love sang me lullabies,
Pampered me like a baby,
Fed me when I was sick,
Bought me ice cream to make me smile,
Did everything a mother would do.
Did everything Love should do.
The fairytale was over and the language book shut close.
I got up from the floor, to realize
That maybe,
Love and I, we loved harder now.

Love and I, we were still kids at heart,
Trying way too hard to play pretend in the adult world.
Love and I, we still loved, still cared, still spoke in words not so German and Greek.
Love and I, I knew would stay together.
Just so they told me Forevers don't exist,
I tried believing in something better.
In truth, there was nothing better.
Love and I, we were the best.
Our Forevers existed,
And our feelings had hope.
Ego came as a guest at times, but we knew just when to say Goodbye.
Love still speaks Greek sometimes, and I too, in German.
But,
Love and I, we realized we're human.
Love and I, we knew we'd stay.

And I never tried to understand what Love is,
For me, it's only his name.

-Anoushka