Self Talk Or Self Critic Whom Do You Talk To?

Anjali Arora
Apr 14, 2019   •  10 views

A well known African proverb says "when there's no enemy within, no outside enemy can harm us." well, ever pondered how?

Have you ever heard an inner voice telling you disempowering things, like “I don’t think I can make it,” “What if I fail?”, “I’m not that smart,” ”I’ll never have that,” “This is too hard,” “This is too big for me,” “It’s impossible,” or “It’s too good to be true” ?

Have you ever thought of you to be too old, too fat, too lazy, too dependent, too unreasonable, a terrible parent, daughter, son, partner, citizen, never good enough?

If such mutevoice rings a bell within you, makes you go off the track and makes you feel wanting to remain in your safezone, your cocoon, know that this was the voice of your "Inner Critic".

No doubt being tough on yourself to bring you back on a direction is fruitful but when you cant turn that voice off and provide yourself with some space to BREATHE, it can limit your potential.

But, what is an inner critic?
It is that voice in your mind that often speaks to you when you want to take risks and step outside of your comfort zone. It is "a voice of fear". It drives within you to keep you in the safe zone and protect you from any possible emotional injuries like judgment, rejection, blame or shame.

It is an internal resistance to change and the unknown, and the main reason for you playing small and not daring to go for your dreams. But of all the things this self critic has to offer, the one thing the inner critic doesn't offer is, 'room for growth'. All too often it sends us back to a zone where we find ourselves safe, but also stuck.

Listening to the positive critique and being open to constructive criticism is undeniably important. But over time, the self-critic can take a toll on your performance and further on your mental health.

Hearing this voice doesn’t mean you are broken and need to be fixed. We all have it in our heads; it is part of our shadow and what makes us human. The goal is not to kill it (since it’s your inner control management), but to learn how to differentiate the Inner Critic’s realistic concern from the false panic.

But how to make sure we communicate with our inner self with a "positive regard"?

Here are some practical things that can help you to silence this negative voice from your mind:

  1. Practice positive,credibile affirmations.

  2. Building self confidence by Challenge your negative thinking and putting things into perspective.

  3. Make peace with your Inner Critic byembracing it with compassion, giving it a canvas, a space but reflecting on the content it has to offer to you.

  4. Talk it out and look out for solutions.

So, the next time you hear a whispering sounds within you, ask it to "hang on" till you know if it worth listening to or not.