There is only one happiness in life, to love and to be loved. Love is considered one of our most basic and fundamental needs. Proof for this comes from various studies conducted around the globe.
Contact Comfort, which refers to the need of being touched and held, is one of the basic forms of love. Research has shown that babies who are deprived of such contact in the first six months of their life often grow up as psychologically damaged adults. This goes on to show that being loved is very important for proper development.
On the other hand, to love others is also an equally important thing to do. A Harvard University experiment shows us just the same. In the experiment, researchers divided the participants into two groups. One group was given $5 and the other group was given $20. Both the groups were asked to spend the money on themselves or others. Results concluded that those who spent money on others were happier! Moreover, it didn’t matter whether $5 or $20 dollars were spent, both generated equal amounts of happiness when spent on others.
However, oftentimes we focus on only one type of love, neglecting the more abundant and easily available kinds. You read it right, there are various kinds of love. This categorization dates back to the time of Aristotle and Plato. Of course, Lee’s book, Colours of Love(1973) gives us a comprehensive outlook towards love.
In this blog, you won’t just find the theory about these types but also some refreshing quotes that you could send to your loved ones.
This is the construct of love we are the most familiar with, the sexual or passionate love. I’m sure you’ve heard of the madness the Cupid’s arrow brings about, Eros is that madness. This is the madness, you ‘fall’ in, like Paris and Helen did, leading to the downfall of Troy and the huge Greek army. In modern times, Eros has also been compared to the broader life force that is crucial for the survival of one’s species, through reproduction. Moreover, Eros also stands opposite to Logos, or Reason. No wonder, Cupid is a blindfolded child!
Here are some beautiful quotes about the passionate kind of love!
I will keep on loving you until eternity comes to make me love you more.
Eros harrows my heart: wild gales sweeping desolate mountains, uprooting oaks.
There is no art without Eros.
I fell in love with the way you touched me without using your hands.
I don’t want comfortable. I want passion. I want someone to kiss me like it’s the only thing keeping him alive.
Unless it’s mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it’s a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life, love shouldn’t be one of them.
Ancient lovers believed a kiss could literally unite their souls because the spirit was said to be carried in one’s breath.
There’s an ocean inside of me. Put your ear against my chest and listen, it rages for you.
Philia stands for friendship and its most important characteristic is shared goodwill. According to Aristotle, one could have goodwill for another person because of these reasons- that he is useful, that he is pleasant, and that he is good. The relationships found on goodness, are not only mutually beneficial but they also include companionship, dependability, and trust. According to Plato, the best kind of Philia develops from Eros, that is Lovers who are also Friends. Their friendship strengthens their love even more and makes their lives fuller. Their relationship isn’t just lust and possession anymore, it becomes an impulse for philosophy, a better understanding of the self, others and the world. Falling in love with your best friend sounds like a great idea now.
Here are some quotes related to Philia-
You’re one of those people who make my life better by just being in it.
All love that has not friendship for its base is like a mansion built upon sand.
Nothing but heaven alone is better than a friend who is really a friend.
Love is a friendship set to music.
A sweet friendship refreshes the soul.
A true friend never gets in your way unless you’re going down.
You have been my friend, that itself is a tremendous thing.
Most of us love our families, storge is that love. Storge( stor- gae) or familial love is the kind of love you attribute to parents and children. It is different then Eros and Philia since it really doesn’t depend so much on personal attributes. It stems out from familiarity and dependency. Early on in romantic relationships, one might get the needs of dependency fulfilled. And if you're lucky, maybe the needs of maturity and fertility as in Philia too. If the relationship is given enough time, Eros turns into Storge.
Being a family means you are a part of something wonderful. It means you will love and be loved for the rest of your life.
What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family.
Love of a family is the greatest blessing.
Family are the only ones who are obligated to love you. You have to earn it from the rest of the world.
Families don’t have to match, you don’t have to look like someone to love them.
The universal love some people feel for nature, God and other beings are what encompasses Agape. It does not depend on filiation or familiarity as in Storge. It can be linked to the modern concept of Altruism or Pro-Social Behaviour. Altruism can be defined as an unselfish concern for others. Basically it where you do things for others without expecting anything in return. Altruism has been linked to many benefits. Studies show that Altruism can lead to euphoric feelings of happiness, called the ”Helper’s High”. It has also been associated with longevity, better physical and mental health.
Our core essence is a divine spark of universal love that illuminates our consciousness.
Personal love is concentrated universal love.
Heaven’s harmony is universal love.
If we dive deep enough into ourselves, we will find the thread of universal love that ties all beings together.
The soul of the soul of the universe is love.
Some flirting never hurts. It’s the playful uncommitted love that may involve teasing, flirting, seducing, etc. It mainly focuses on fun with no strings attached. Ludus works best when both parties are mature and well settled. They are casual, undemanding and uncomplicated. For some, this can last a very long time, since Ludus doesn’t require much effort. However, if one party mistakes Ludus for Eros, the results can be devastating. Ludus is much more compatible with Philia.
Forget the butterflies. I feel the whole damn zoo when I’m with you.
Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
You are so beautiful. Do rude things to me. Please, I beg you.
Feel free to come, rub my back and play with my hair.
You sir are very attractive so imma stare at you.
It is the practical love that stems out of duty and long term interests. In this kind of a relationship , sexual satisfaction takes a step back and what becomes more important is ‘making it work’ , compatibility and personal qualities. The people in pragma relationships often have shared goals. Usually, these relationships start out as Eros or Ludus and end up being a combination of Storge and Pragma. For instance, arranged marriages sure have a pragma component in them. Even though unfashionable they are still very widespread.
The love that is driven by the head not the heart.
Love is a combination of respect, friendship, understanding, communication, and companionship.
Happiest couples do not have the same character, they have the best understanding of their differences.
Relationships last longer not because they were destined to be so but because two people kept fighting for it.
A strong relationship is choosing to love each other in times when you struggle to like each other.
This is my favorite kind of love, Self-love! We can categorize Philautia into Hubris and Self-Esteem. Hubris is what one shouldn’t have. In Greek mythology, a person could be accused of Hubris if he placed himself above Gods. Hubris can lead to destruction or Nemesis. In the modern world, it can be related to a heightened sense of one’s abilities, status, accomplishments, etc. People with Hubris are generally haughty and arrogant. However, Self-Love is not a negative concept at all. A healthy self-love is akin to Self-esteem. Self-esteem is our cognitive and emotional appraisal to our own worth relative to others and it determines our relationship to ourselves and to the world.
The greatest responsibility is to love that person in the mirror who has been through so much but is still standing.
Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.
Your soul will never be fully nourished by anyone’s love but your own.
In a society that profits from self-doubt, loving yourself is a rebellious act.
Self-love seems so often unrequited.
Dear, you make peace with the mirror and watch the reflection change.
In the end, I would just like to mention that these types of love don’t have strict boundaries. They keep flowing in and out of each other ! And by now I’m sure you would’ve figured which person in your life fits in which category/categories?