In modern pop songs, young people still sing about their crushes, unrequited loves and romantic break-ups; about feeling awkward, unsure, in despair, overwhelmed, joyous and inspired, although these days the sexual imagery is much more obvious. And it can appear that the tender feelings of first love are at odds with today’s world of ‘out there’ sexuality. Adolescents are heavy consumers of online pornography, they are sexting, and using ‘apps’ to meet partners for casual sex hook-ups. They may post on Facebook about their sexual and romantic successes and failures. Research has not yet caught up with the long-term implications of these new ways of courting, but it does seem that falling in love and romantic relationships are still part of the developmental timetable for many adolescents.

Let’s look at what is known. The US-based National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health involving a representative sample of thousands of school children in Grades 7 to 12, found that over 80 per cent of those aged 14 years and older were or had been in a romantic relationship, including a small number (2–3 per cent) in same-sex relationships Many of these relationships were short term, especially among younger adolescents, but a significant number were a year or more in duration. Evidence that these relationships were socially normative was shown by the finding that in most cases, parents had met their child’s romantic partner and the couples had told others of their romantic status. There is limited data on romantic relationships in other developed countries, but existing research suggests similar percentages to the US data, although with somewhat older age groups

The normative nature of adolescent romantic relationships means that those young people without a girlfriend or boyfriend can feel stressed or ‘different’ . Given that adolescence is a time when there is a great deal of pressure to conform to peer norms, young people who are not linking up romantically can feel lonely and out of step with their peers. For example, on the internet site girlsaskguys.com, an anonymous young woman asks: I’ve never had a boyfriend or girlfriend. Would you assume that there is something bad or wrong with that person that makes people not want to go out with them? I think it’s because I am ugly. I am not fat however. What is wrong with me?

On a different advice site (quora.com), this young man similarly questions why he is different:
I am 21 and never had a girlfriend. Most of my friends are in a relationship. I feel kind of depressed and that I would never have a girlfriend. What should I do? I’ve asked a couple of girls whom I like to go out with me in the past and they declined.

Falling in love is an emotional upheaval at any age, but for adolescents the feelings are likely to be even more difficult to manage. Teenage bodies and brains are maturing at a rate not experienced since infancy. There is a growth spurt, development of secondary sex characteristics and young people change in appearance from child to adult. Physical awkwardness often results from growth asynchronies; young people can feel embarrassed and self-conscious about the sexualisation of their bodies or their perceived inadequacies in terms of often-unrealistic body ideals. As well, the adolescent brain has been described as ‘a work in progress’, with certain areas maturing more quickly than others, leading to potential mismatches between physical, emotional and cognitive development. For example, there can be incongruities between adult bodily appearance, increasing sex drive and the brain development required for mature decision-making and self-regulation of behaviour and emotions. The ‘executive functioning’ area of the brain – the prefrontal cortex – is among the last areas of the brain to fully mature, usually sometime in the twenties Adolescence therefore becomes a time of diminished prefrontal cortical control, with the heightened possibility of risk-taking and poor judgement decisions, especially in environments described as ‘reward-sensitive’, where the temptations of immediate feel-good experiences are high, such as in romantic and sexual situations.

Drug addiction is a complex neurological dysfunction induced by recurring drug intoxication. Strategies to prevent and treat drug addiction constitute a topic of research interest. Early-stage romantic love is characterized by some characteristics of addiction, which gradually disappear as the love relationship progresses. Therefore, comparison of the concordance and discordance between romantic love and drug addiction may elucidate potential treatments for addiction. This focused review uses the evidences from our recent studies to compare the neural alterations between romantic love and drug addiction, moreover we also compare the behavioral and neurochemical alterations between romantic love and drug addiction.

Of course, not every young person is interested in romantic relationships. Some feel they are not ready, some want to concentrate on their studies or sport, others are more tempted by the casual sex culture of temporary ‘hook-ups’. Nevertheless, most adolescents begin their sexual lives within the context of a romantic relationship and generally, involvement in romantic relationships in adolescence is developmentally appropriate and health. Signs of an Unhealthy Teen Relationship

  • One of the teens is very controlling

  • Extreme jealousy

  • Isolation from friends and family

  • Bruises and/or injuries that can’t be easily explained

  • Loss of interest in activities the teen previously enjoyed

  • Sudden changes in behavior

  • Decrease in academic performance or grades

  • Extreme changes in the teen’s personality around the partner

  • Frequent arguments

  • A big age difference between the partners

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