Is Your Way Of Parenting The Right Way?

The personality of a person develops majorly according to their childhood. One of the main factors affecting childhood is Parenting style. How a person behaves, thinks or acts reflects his/ her upbringing. India is second in the list of highly populated countries in the world, that’s how much we Indians love bearing children. But do we know how to raise them?

Parents are the first and most important confidants and dependants for children. From the time they are born, till they become parents themselves, and even after that, children trust their parents the most. This is the reason why parenting determines your child's confidence levels, trust issues, decision making abilities and how they feel about themselves. It is important to ensure that you are providing a healthy upbringing to your child physically and mentally.

According to psychology, there are four types of Parenting styles. They are
• Authoritarian
• Authoritative
• Permissive
• Uninvolved

1. Authoritarian parenting style.

Read the statements given below and check whether you think the same way.

 I brought my child into this world, I have all the rights to decide what's good or bad for him/her.

 My child should understand that if I say No, it’s a no. I need not give him/her an explanation.
 I won’t listen to what my child says because he / she is too young and inexperienced to decide for himself/herself.

If your thoughts match these statements, you are an Authoritarian parent. Children under such parenting start questioning their decision making and problem solving skills as they are taught to be too dependent on the parent. They either start developing self esteem problems as their opinions are not valued or they become rebellious and try to do the exact opposite of what is told. They often become good liars in order to avoid punishment.

2. Authoritative Parenting Style.

 I should be more like a friend than a parent to my child.
 I should maintain a healthy relationship so that he/she can come and discuss his/her problems with me without hesitating.

 If I think he/she is doing something wrong, I will stop him/her and tell them the reason why he/she is wrong.

If your thoughts match these statements, you are an Authoritative parent. You believe in reinforcements rather than punishments. Children under such parenting tend to have a positive self image and good psychological competencies. They are confident about their decision making and problem solving skills and know that they can come to their parents for advice on any personal issue.

3. Permissive Parenting Style.

 I love my kid so I will let him do whatever he wants.
 Kids will be kids. They will learn by themselves.
 I cannot be strict with him/her because they are kids after all.

If your thoughts match these statements, you are a Permissive parent. You do set rules but do not stick to the consequences of breaking those rules. You try to be strict but give up if the kid cries or begs. Such children become undisciplined and tend to have behavioural problems in school as they cannot follow rules. They also tend to have health issues as they are not controlled in matters of food, alcohol or other toxic substances.

4. Uninvolved Parenting Style.

 I am busy with my own work, I do not have time for my child.
 I do not care where my child is or what he/she is doing
 They can take care of themselves. I have much important work to do.

This type of behaviour can be intentional or unintentional. Sometimes the parent might have other problems such as poverty or job insecurities and tend to not focus on their child. Sometimes the parents might not have knowledge about child upbringing or the parent might be subjected to substance abuse. Children under such parenting tend to have low self esteem and question their self worth. They perform poorly in academics and most of the times try to indulge in attention seeking behaviour.

Clearly, the authoritative style is the best style as it helps the child grow in a healthy environment. If you identify with other parenting styles, it is time you start thinking about your child and how you are going to affect him/her. No parent would want the guilt of being the reason why their child turned out to be incapable.