A Place To Hide

Soaked in scars, covered with doubts, locked in a cage of the body, Mark on the neck, a mole on the chin with bruises on the knee. Imperfection wrapped around humanity and humans, with a scope of escape. Born with stuck wings, hustle and spread them, the options are served. Bumps are not only extraneous but also encompass our soul, fed with the hatred of Not being enough and loathing the shape which hugs.

Time and again I gazed in the mirror and swamped myself in contemplation for perfection. As a child, I learned how bad it was to have freckles and marks, society at an early stage taught me that having individuality is a threat to their own built standards for glory. People who visited my house often told my mother, apply the rose mask, Aloe Vera mask,Lemon mask, fruit mask and many other kinds of masks on my face but never told me to be “Me”, their entrenched desire to change Me into someone/something I am not forced me to find myself a place to hide.

I started looking for it and things around me helped me to find the right place where I could devastate my self-esteem and confidence. The magazines, the movies, the icons which were idolized held my hands tight conveying that the message which was delivered to me by the society was blameless and fair. The people who knew me through bones and flesh were also up for criticism, they too wanted me to shrivel and fit into a place which was made by them for me, without asking for my approval.

Then I found it, I found a place to hide my body, my guilt, my individually, my uniqueness, my smile, and my pain. The idea of engulfing myself with self-hatred was getting easier than looking beyond people’s perception of my body.

Following their advice, I wore a mask – a mask of pretended confidence and imposed bliss.

I decided to climb the fences to jump on the other side of perfection, where everybody else was But soon I realized that they all were looking the same, their idea of the human body and life were identical, Instead, I would say that it was exactly the same. The place where I hid was colorful but still so achromatic, maybe because those color did not belong to me, they weren’t mine.

Do you know what was mine? Mine were the scars, the marks, the freckles, the moles and insecurity Of not being enough.

“What is missing”?I asked myself and to the people who nearly dragged my soul away from me only to judge my body for its shape and flesh.

The answer was within me- Self-love, lack of self-love pushed me to a place where I hid from my own body.

From that point, I stopped slaughtering my individuality to match the norms, I decided to embrace my flawed self.

I jumped back to that side of the fence which truly belonged to me. No, I did not need a place to hide when I could stand where I was and shine. I unlearned the norms and broke the barriers which were studded in my brain by others. And when I learned to love every inch of my body, I could see how perfectly imperfect and amazing I was.

To all those who think that they are less, to those who are finding a place to hide, I want to tell you that you are too good to hide from the sunshine on love, affection, and bliss. Celebrate yourself like a festival and see how others would join you too.

Lastly, I would like to say that, “ face with a scar, neck with a mark, chin with a mole is part of the beauty which we hold". Don’t hide instead, come out with all the love and acceptance you have to the world which otherwise lacks it.