What Women Need To Understand About Men?

It’s necessary to understand the differences between men and women. Problems and misunderstanding arise when we expect the opposite sex to behave like our own sex. But the reality is entirely different, men and women differ in different ways as if they belong to different planets.

Men are like rubber bands

When Men are in love, they get too close to their partner, they get absorbed in her love, this new level of intimacy feels great but it compromises with men’s self-concept. The closer he gets to his partner, the more he starts to lose his self-identity (a natural tendency of men). As a natural response, men unconsciously pull himself away from her to gain his self-concept back. Just like a rubber band has a stretch limit, men pull himself to a certain fixed distance until he realises his self-identity and suddenly once again he feels the need for intimacy, as a result, he again starts to come closer to her partner just like a stretched rubber band regains its original shape when released. This stretching and regaining of original shape may take some time but at last, everything gets fine.

When women don't understand this nature of men, she may misinterpret him by thinking that he doesn't love her anymore. But in reality, it isn't the case. Sometimes, as a reaction, women unknowingly disturb this rubber band cycle of men thus causing the delayed arrival of men to its normal condition. This disturbance may trigger a domino effect of disturbances. Hence it’s necessary for women to understand her partner's nature.

Men go to their caves when they are sad.

Here cave means a state in which a man require personal space when he deals with a problem & tries to find a solution. This is a sensitive state. Men become highly ignorant as he fully concentrates in solving his own problems, he doesn't want to get disturbed. He doesn't demand or require any help from his partner (It’s in his nature). But once the problem gets resolved, he comes out of his cave and behaves normally as if nothing happened. If a woman tries to interfere with this cycle of going and coming out of the cave (knowingly or unknowingly), relations become bitter and the distance between them increases.

These cycles are important, if blocked, it may create a serious relationship problem.
What’s the solution?
Just support his cycle by not interfering with it and not trying to break it. Have patience and let him come out of the cave. Without any external force, let him feel the need of intimacy by himself. Till then wait and do something that interests you like, go out with your friends, go shopping etc. At the end of the day, he would once again come back to his normal state.

I highly recommend the book 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' by John Gray if you want to understand the genders in true sense.