I am a mature girl, they say.
But little do they know that I have paid a very heavy price for that..

I'll tell you a story.
From a tainted page of the diary of my life, My childhood, My long lost childhood.

6 year old me playing in the park,

It was daylight not too dark.
My aunt was there,
But I was lost in the game.
Little did I know, what is coming on my way.

She left for a while after warning me,
Not to go anywhere, for the world is cruel.
Monsters will grab and eat you in no time, so pay attention.
Busy in my game, I only nodded in affirmation.

Few minutes later, came an uncle in that park,
With a chocolate in his hand, he looked tall and dark.
He came near me and said,
"It's for you dear child."
I ate it in one go.
He said further, "I have many more for you. I forgot those at my home but it's near,
Do you want to come and join me there my dear?"

Alas! I fell into that honey trap.
Little did I know what would happen next.
Paying no heed to the advice of my aunt,
I followed him to his home, on that street in the West.

There I saw a bunch of chocolates,
Lying near the bed.
I was lost between the chocolates.
Eating them one by one, for it was the only thing going in my head.

Suddenly he grabbed me from behind,
And the very next moment,
I was lying on the bed,
with blankness engulfing my mind.

I felt that pain,
I couldn't take it, I cried,
I was about to get faint.

Chocolates felt tasteless and bitter,
I lost all the delight.
That day I came to know,
That blood is only red,
Not blue, green or white.

I cried out of pain,
And tried to escape out.
He grabbed me by my hair,
Making me suffer more than I ever thought.

After much struggle,
I freed myself from his clutches,
Running as fast as I could.
He chased me from behind,
Like a cunning hyenah chasing his target.
I ran for my life, even though my legs felt numb and interwined.

Just then, something caught hold of him,
And he stopped in his tracks.
I hid behind the bushes,
Holding my breath,
I didn't make any move,
Fearing my death.

Tears made their way out of my eyes.
Not the tears of pain, they were due to immense fear.
I was scared for my life,
Feeling my end was just near.

My skirt got stained,
I didn't dare move.
Even the sting of an insect couldn't prompt me to cry.
I was there, crouched,
My legs hurting, out of pain.
I felt lifeless and my tears got dried.

The fear was immense,
Which I couldn't hide.
I needed my mother, I needed my father,
For them, I gave a silent cry.

No voice, no sob,
Only tears flowed from my eyes.
Which at that moment,
Out of fear, I couldn't even wipe.

The time ceased to flow,
I sat there for eternity.
Numb, completely numb,
Hoping for either a miracle or even a calamity.

Then I heard it.
Siren of police and the red bulb glowing,
I fought myself to come out of the hiding.
I mustered up the courage,
But I was still scared of my fate.
What might happen next, with each moment sliding made me even more desperate.

They rescued me.
I opened my eyes in a hospital.
My mother sitting beside me,
My father, trying hard to control his tears.
And there I was,
Lying lifeless on the bed.
My face as pale as a crushed flower, almost numb and dead.

They looked at my face and cried and cried.
Cursing their fate and unfair life.
That time, things didn't make sense to me.
I wondered, they should be happy,
At least I'm alive.

Though there was still a terrible pain between my legs,
Which I tried hard to suppress,
But I couldn't make it.
Why.. I was unable to guess.

But now I know, what I had lost that day.
The charm of a chocolate, I paid a heavy price for that.
Too naive to realise the intensity of my loss, I couldn't figure out then what was black and what was grey.

But now I know,
That innocence of my childhood,
Got washed away with that blood,
Beneath the shower in the bathroom that very unfateful day.

Now I'm a girl,
Scared of people.
Whenever someone touches me, I shiver,
Reliving the moments of my terrible fate.
An unending nightmare for me that will continue to haunt me throughout my life.

They taunt me saying that I'm a girl devoid of any emotions.
Little do they know,
I'm a girl devoid of a childhood..