While bhaiya and I used to munch on hot and fresh cooked food, I had seen maa eating the leftovers of the previous day. Not just because we were careless not to notice if there's some still left for her or not but she always believed wasting even one bite of food is a curse.
I was a little girl when I learnt this well enough as she used to show me the people begging even for one time bread.
As I grew up, it always itched me to see maa eating after serving everyone. Why should she always be the one to eat after everyone else? Why does she always have to take care of us and why can't we do the same for her?
When I turned 19, I learnt to make chapatis, regardless of the fact what shape they were in. Somedays it was square, some days it was rhombus and other days I don't know which country's map it resembled. The first thing I wanted to do after I learnt to make chapatis was to make sure she doesn't have to be the one who eats last. However, I always failed.
One day, I asked her "maa, why do you always have to be the one who eats last?"
She said, "I'm only full once I make sure you people are". I didn't understand what she meant.
A month ago, maa told us about the pain she was in. Her body needed care and she needed our comfort. We took her to a doctor. The doctor told us how maa needed to go under surgery and she'll be fine by all means. All of us were worried except maa. She was the one who needed medicine but instead came out as one for us.
Yesterday, she was admitted to the hospital and operated for about half an hour. She came back home after five hours in a state of half-consciousness, as the doctors gave her anaesthesia but somehow managed to ask me if I was fine.
That day, I served the food to maa before everyone else. After making sure if everyone had eaten, I took a plate for myself and ate whatever was left.
I didn't eat as much as I did when maa served me. I couldn't get enough food but I was full and satisfied like never before. It wasn't my stomach that was hungry, it was my soul, for years.
And that day, I understood what maa meant.
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