A Life Longing Guilt

Thread of guilt entangles a person life, memories of past imprint in mind, heart and soul. Mr.Basu still wasn't able to cope up from the memories and impact of the accident 20 year back. Things that went wrong that night, still trouble him. He could never forget that incident which turned his life upside down.

On July 5, Mr. Basu turned 54 years. He had achieved almost everything he had wished for. He was successful business entrepreneur and had excelled in fields of life. He was awarded with possibly all the prestigious awards and was considered a role model by many aspirants who wanted to set up a business.

On occasion of his birthday, his daughter organized a party in their farmhouse and all distinguished people were invited to celebrate his 54th birthday.Farmhouse — After 30 years he will be visiting that place. He ignores that place and tries not to going there and not giving a though to it. The question to which Mr.Basu finds answer and always restless because of it is had all started from that farmhouse.

Exactly 30 years back, Mr.Basu threw a birthday party in the same farmhouse, he was just 24 that time and was enjoying his adolescence. His friends were happy to see a big party, including drinks and left for home around 2 am. Mr.Basu was driving back fully drunk with around 8-9 peg down. Road was clear and he was in half of his senses with full speed. To keep momentum he was still drinking. Suddenly he saw a lady crossing the road, he tried to apply full brakes to stop the car but couldn't and hit her. She fell on the footpath in a flash. He stepped out of the car to help car, but she was unconscious and was bleeding. Mr.Basu immediately took her to the hospital without thinking of the police case as she became his priority.

She was shifted to ICU and by 6:00 am was all okay. When Mr.Basu enquired the doctor about the health conditions of the lady, to his surprise she not only broke her ankle but also was detected as HIV Positive. Mr.Basu found this thing out of scope and irrelevant to the accident, to which doctor made him clear that she was already suffering from HIV. After a while he was allowed to meet her. He slowly waked towards the ICU and asked the lady about her health. He apologized her, but she was constantly murmuring, ‘My mother, my mother, medicines …… '. Mr.Basu asked her about what had happened to her mother, to which she replied that her mother got a heart stroke. The lady was also enquiring about her mother's health. Listening to this Mr.Basu was mind blown and was very upset about what he had done. Tears in his eyes, he asked the lady her address and immediately rushed there. Her mother had passed away that morning and all her neighbors were waiting for her daughter who went out to seek medical help. He was stunned and was speechless, looking the scene at her place. Neighbors waited for few more hours and then did the funeral with all rituals as there was no one else in their family. Mr.Basu returned to the hospital but did not inform the lady about her mother's death and was just glaring her and cursing himself. He then enquired the lady about where does she work and who all are there in the family. To which she half answered by replying,' Me and my mother '. He again asked her the same question, but the lady stayed numb and didn't speak.

Now it was the time for her discharge, doctor asked Mr.Basu to do all the necessary formalities and take her away. But Mr.Basu didn't know where to take her, as she was unaware about her mother's departure. Next day, Mr.Basu called his driver and took her to his home. She was surprised and asked Mr.Basu that why had he bought her there and who was she? He explained her everything in detail and apologized deeply for her loss. The lady cried very badly and requested to drop to her place. Mr.Basu refused her and requested the lady to stay at his place until she was fine. As Mr.Basu's were out of town, so he had no fear about what to explain them.

After a few days, she made some progress and asked Mr.Basu to drop her home. She said him that he was the person who helped her in her tough time, and she owes a lot to him. Mr.Basu now wanted to inform the lady about her HIV. As they know were much familiar to each other, he directly asked her about how she was suffering from HIV. She remained silent for a while and said that as her father expired a year ago and she was uneducated girl. Her mother already had a heart attack and couldn't work. So her aunt forcefully dragged her into sex racket. Her mother didn't knew about this and used to think that she worked in factory on daily wages. The lady also said that she sold herself, more the number she could remember and this accident has taken everything she had.

Mr.Basu without thinking proposed her to marry him, to fill some space on this mistake. She rejected him due to the disease she was suffering from. But he insisted her to marry him. Today after 30 years of their marriage, they are happy but a question always triggers Mr.Basu's mind which that accident had left-‘Did I give her a life or took away her mother's life that night?”