A Letter To Fear

Dear Fear,

I know it's hard doing what you do. You have somehow convinced me to believe in everything I am not. The whispers you speak into my soul at night are driving deep into my humanity. I believed you, you created me.

We have spent a long time together. There were days where you pretended to have it all together and left me buried in self-doubt. There were nights where you convinced me that I was not enough. I thought I could change you, but in turn, you changed me.

But, here's the deal, you no longer live here.

We have grown apart, you and I. We are different now. The walls no longer hide me, rather they keep you out. The doors are no longer shut, they're wide open. Open for opinions I no longer care about.

Don't be surprised, for you had it coming. When things were going along smoothly, all of a sudden, you made me feel inundated with insecurity and doubt. You convinced me that I needed to be accepted by everyone and that I couldn't let go of things and people that upset me.

But, dear fear, I've learnt that I can.

Don't get me wrong, you did a good job telling me to contemplate my every single step. You told me a hundred ways in which I could disappoint people. But, what you forgot to tell me was that I would have disappointed myself if I let you take control.

I'm sorry that you have to go, but I like who I have become without you. I choose not to be captive of my own mind. I won't be a prisoner held against my will. The darkness that has consumed me has moved out, and so will you, Fear.

You made me fear uncertainity, but I figured you out. Trying different things or changing my habits would have meant letting you go, so you made sure to hold me. But, letting go is what I truly want.

Seth Godin once said, "That there are always limits and there are always opportunities. The ones we rehearse and focus on are the ones that shape our attitude and our actions."

So, it's time you find someone else. I've wasted enough time fearing not being accepted or being good enough. But, I hope you understand that I want to grow.

I want to truly accept who I am, try out for things I like and risk my time for things I want. So, I no longer need you.

This is my final farewell letter. We are over for good this time. I have moved on and you no longer own me. Please do not write back to me for I've discovered that there's a world that cares, a world that protects you and a world that exists without you.

I don't know if this makes sense to you, but I've seen you leaving before. I've imagined achieving my dreams, laughing with people and accepting myself without you holding me back. I've imagined living. And, I want to live now.

Therefore, thank you for teaching me to step outside the box. Thank you for challenging me to fight for what I want. Lastly, thank you for teaching me how to walk away for the better.

So, it's time I say goodbye. I hope one day you will grow up to be who you were meant to be. I know this is not why you were here. But, unfortunately, I can't let you stay to find out because for once, I like knowing that things will work out.

The pain will fade and the dependence will subside. It was good knowing you all this time, but I have to go now. Goodbye.

Yours Truly

The Once Fearful