How Did You Feel During The Time Leading To Your Marriage???

For me it was an Emotional Disaster. Always on the edge, I didn't know whether to cry or laugh or feel some sort of way.I always dreamt of enjoy my wedding ceremony to the fullest and who does not but it’s an overwhelming process.Anxiousness overrides any feelings of happiness.

Even though it was never a new thought that one fine day, I shall have to tie a knot with a person who isn’t much familiar to me and my life ..I would frequently question my mom ‘What kind of person he’ll be ?’ ‘Will we get along?’ ‘What if we are not happy together?’ ‘How long would it take for me to get purely comfortable to the peeps who is has been important part of his life’.All these little thoughts and not knowing whether it’s a good decision or stray one would kill me And this would lead me to step back and forth and made meto ask for one more years time so that i take a wise decision of my life.

and my mother would reply saying, " I am 23 and grown up and have reached the perfect suitable age for marriage."Seeing her response to my request made me helpless and broken.Secretly I kept crying my heart out, Unable to accept the fact that I am supposed to spend the rest of my life with a guy whom I met once in a family gathering.

Making me go deliberately one time and other times she too would cry imagining my separation in a week when I would be happily, familiarly indulge in talks with my would be in-laws.Seeing her feel insecure of her place would break my heart and deep down i wished to give a full stop to this event.My dad was so much involved in the preparation that he hardly had time to see me, sit and console his heart.

As the days got closer were even I got engaged in shopping, halting my sad emotions for certain period by transferring it to another level of stress of finding right fit of lehenga, and fixed colour which I had fought with my sister and friends as they insisted on getting on other color but not Red. The brides will win the argument off curse And Red got the victory.That’s how I dreamt about my Marriage ever since I was child, and topmost reasons Red being my favorite color, it would not miss it share in my wedding wear.

Anxiety level of looking the most beautiful bride in the world would make us find right Makeup Artist. And explaining how my look should be and repetitively telling her not to apply too much or too less but the perfect amount of makeup.

Other timesmy eyes would glitter with jewelery shopping and the very next moment it would fill with crystal waters seeing granny’s necklace which my mom would pass it to me.

Sooner there was no days left and the day arrived so quickly , Relatives started coming and would pass on family advices of always being polite to in laws, this Marriage will bond ties between two families. Be good and try your best to get along with him. You will get to know him soon, some would even say to plan a child soon and not delay it.

All this would generate butterflies in my tummy which would soon disappear seeing my single Siblings, Cousins and friends having their liberty and envying the time they have with their mom and dad.

The Haldi Ceremony has begin ed, I felt very important person special in the crowd with the music playing in the background.The song “Dilbaro- muhd ke na dekho Dilbaro, betiyan jo behayi jaye mudthi nai hai,(daughters once married, don't look back)"has left my mom breakdown uncontrollably letting everyones eyes numb in the crowd.Seeing my little sister trying to console my Ammi and daddy, still gets tears to me till this date. I felt like, I was no longer a part of theirs and I no longer belong to them like I did earlier.

As I continued sitting performing haldi ceremony, tightening my fist to remain calm. Watching Ammi, daddy and choti having their emotional breakdown in the corner, I sat there helpless as HIS family has gathered around me, some teasing me with His name, some signing 90s love songs, some brushing and flowering my hair, me sitting there ignoring what’s happening and laying my eyes on my family. When my eyesmet my moms eyes, his moms lips touched my forehead to kiss,allowing a tear drop to flow on my cheek, and my heart whispered ‘’no one ever will replace you Dady and choti’’ with my eyes wide awake and Ammi's sight in-front.

And when the function ended I saw my parents and sister got themselves involved in loads of work and arrangements, I was left with the relatives, Cousins and friends, entertaining more to themselves and less to me.That moment all I wanted to do is grab my sisters hand, take my parents and runaway far escaping tomorrows day.

And slowly my vision blurred and I fell asleep.

‘The Morning’ had arrived, I cursed my self for agreeing in the first place. And then revised and remembered all the positive quotes of whatever happens, happens for a reason. Everything has planned by the best of Planner (Allah). To let me survive this day. And decided to go with the flow as it was too late to have a second thought.

I got ready wearing Lehengaof my Favorite color, dolled up by best makeup artist,wore afinest jeweleries and still didn't glanced into the mirror not even once, Comments of Cousins, friends, Aunts,Buha, puphis didn't have my attention at all.

And then I saw my sister entering the room with a rush to dress up. When I called her up I could sense her tiredness, sweaty clothes and sadness in her heart. We hugged tight not knowing how long until Ammi coming and hugging us both with her warmth, love and affection.

2 hours later daddy with Moulvi and group of males entered the room asking for my consent in the marriage.Surprisingly I said ‘’Qubool hai, Qubool hai, Qubool hai’’ loud and clear. With a firm decision of not regretting it later.

And soon after signing the nikaah papers, as I walked up to the stage, I was accompanied by my dad.He forwarded his hand towards me telling my dad ‘’ I will treat her well’’.Ledmy dad raise in confidence of choosing a correct a guy for his daughter. Made me vanish all my fears,anxiety,nervousness and negativity.

_{Tell me how was your phase ??? .}