Toxic Relationships And Its Signs

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Rashmi
May 21, 2019   •  18 views

Finally, a chronologically ordered article as assured!
As per my promise in my last Wrytup, this one is dedicated to toxic relationships and all the signs that you are in one.

Let's get down to it folks!

Following are the signs that you are in a toxic relationship:

The particular person that has committed a mistake but denies it even when it's all obvious... why? Ego.

If the person you are in a relationship with never makes an effort to apologize for their mistakes, or worse, makes it look like it's all your fault to begin with, is a toxic person.

When you are having an argument, you and the other person should be finding the solution to the problem, not going around finding whether or not you actually have earned an apology.

If you are upset, an understanding significant other will find out what was the mistake they made and how they should avoid doing it again, and apologize. They should not try to make you feel as if it's not a big deal or you whether or not you warrant to be upset.

You shouldn't have the doubts about whether you deserve better, because the moment you do, you do.

  • They are always right: No they aren't, but still not apologizing for it. Deny their fault, and never admit their mistakes.

  • Being dismissive: If you are talking about your problems or troubles to them, but they always end up dismissing them or thinking that its nothing to be worried about (and not in an assuring way) they just don't care about your problems basically.

  • Being domineering: If you don't please them the way they wish to be, you are not worthy of them. They always try showing you that you should be grateful that they are in a relationship with you.

  • Disrespecting you: If they disrespect you, your choices, your boundaries then what exactly is good about it?

  • The 'I am angry at you and am going to make you beg for my forgiveness' thing: All those silent treatments, guilt trips, taunts, sarcastic comments, and then pretending nothing is wrong until you apologize. And no, they don't stop at that, they'll say, "Oh no, sweetheart, why are you apologizing? there's no need for it." Till you are sure that the only way this drama will stop is by actually begging them.

  • The facade and masks they wear: ever seen someone being two-faced? And no, not in the "I'm not comfortable with you enough to show my actual personality so till then I'm going to be polite because those are basic manners". In the "I'm going to pretend to like you because being in your company profits me. Licking your boot benefits me even though I very much hate you". Yeah, that... They play with those masks when everyone is around and show their actual stinky personality to you when you are alone.

  • Being the only "good guy" in the room: everything that goes wrong is your fault even when you had no idea what actually went wrong! Why? Because they "told you so".

They are sympathetic and you are simply pathetic.

Everyone in the room must know that they were always right, they'll make a big deal out of it, talk a bit louder to emphasize how"They knew that you would make such a silly mistake. But don't worry, they'll help you because they are a good person with high morality and ethics."

  • Grudges: because how else will they always have you under them? they make sure to remind you of all the mistakes you made against them or in general, just so that they can have an upper hand. And don't forget the typical "good old days" dialogue. Yeah, those very good old days that were ruined because of you. So now, suffer from the manipulation.

  • "I don't care what you do, because I'll take you down later on": If you think that something might offend them or upset them, but you really want to do it and ask them whether you can, and they answer nonchalantly... Don't fall for it. It's a trap. they will get back at you for it later on. Because how dare you do something that makes you happy but not them?

  • No change: what good is apologizing if all they are going to is repeat what they apologized for? they are not going to change themselves just for you because... who you? you are my that priority that comes after all the priorities that satisfy me. So don't expect me to change just for you, until and unless it benefits me. Until then, deal with it.

  • They don't stand up for you: because it puts them under pressure. If they won't stand up for you, even after knowing you are right, then your relationship isn't as strong as you thought.

  • Gaslighting: They target your weak points, your self esteem and confidence. They tell outrageous lies delibrately.

  • Abuse: isn't this obvious enough? If they abuse you, walk out. it may be tough because it's all that you've known, but trust me. You deserve better. abuse in no way has ever been a way to love, if they slap you and say any of the following, run as far as you can from the:

  1. "I'm just doing this for you."

  2. "you know that I love you right?"

  3. "All you have to do is listen to me and we can do so much better"

  4. "this is all for you"

  5. "I am the only one who understands/ loves you."

  6. "There's no one else who will put up with you, so be grateful for me"

And the synonyms.

If they by any means make you feel that you don't deserve love or deserve to be loved, get away from them.

Love can be found in many places, toxic people aren't one of them.
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Profile of Wajahat Mir
Wajahat Mir  •  20w  •  Reply
Nice one, kindly check mine as well
Profile of Khushi Bharmoria
Khushi Bharmoria  •  21w  •  Reply
Impressive. Nice article