It hurts. It will. It’s the pain. It’s too dark.
It’s unlike the deep cut on a hand or a bruise that can heal.
It’s beneath the layers of me.
It has torn me from the inside.
It makes no sound.
One can see it falling off through the eyes.
One may feel the vibes. There is no control.
One may say it’s alright. One may say you shouldn’t hide.
There are cracks that no one can see.
Maybe one day I’ll get used to it and it shall heal me.
I remember being in grief when I wrote this and everything felt wrong. Like the sun did not rise today or the hurt is permanent. Like I’ll not be able to feel the happiness around me or my eyes will not stop the waterfall. Sitting at one place for hours on end; a day that feels like a lifetime. And laying on the bed looking at the ceiling, I knew I had to get out of this but didn’t find a way. At this point, no help looks like help, no one can understand. This day is the hardest day but feels like my whole life is that way.
But it isn’t true, some days can be gloomy but your life won’t. Whenever you feel like you have put up with a lot today, remember that every new day is a beginning. You need to stop the negative self-talk and work towards being mindful, that’s how I keep myself calm. I meditate every single day. Don’t let other people’s negativity affect you. Getting involved in things I like helps me uplift my mood. Spending time with my own people and going out once in a while makes me feel better. Sleeping helps a lot too. I don’t feel that every day will be bright or every moment is all unicorns and rainbows but our struggles define us. Our failures make us humble and nobody is perfect. There are happiness and kindness that we all need to give ourselves before anyone else. Everything in life makes you learn something or the other and every lesson learned makes you who you are.