Living with an emotionally abusive person is exhausting. It’s mentally exhausting. It’s emotionally exhausting. And that exhaustion spreads into physical exhaustion.
First, one has to recognise if they’re in a controlling, manipulative, disrespectful or punitive relationship. Usually, the person abusing you will be highly critical of you and their comments will have emotional undertones. There is also usually a threat of rejection or abandonment.
Walk away from the relationship if you can. It’s unhealthy to be caught up in emotional games where you are the pawn, and you feel trapped and abused by the abuser.
Establish boundaries for yourself. For example, don’t allow the abuser to engage you in critical conversations and emotional put downs. Walk away from any outbursts and negative or hurtful emotional displays.
Agree to what you will, and will not, accept in your relationship. State your agreements in clear and explicit terms to remind yourself each time you feel down.
Put your needs and values before their needs and values and respect what you want and believe in yourself.
Make sure that “no” means “no” and don’t accept any small compromises
Don’t allow yourself to get drawn into any arguments with them because it is likely that it’ll go downhill, and you will end up feeling bad and low.
Surround yourself with people who see your strengths and positivity. Remind yourself that their viewpoint reflects reality and you are under no obligation to make sense to anyone but yourself.
Walk away from arguments that lead you to anger and unhappiness . Walk away from people who deliberately tries to bring you down. The more you walk away from things that poison your soul, and pours unhappiness to your life the healthier your life will be. Your trauma is real and valid and you deserve a space to talk about it and let it go. This isn’t desperate or pathetic or attention seeking. It’s self care. It is inconceivably brave. Regardless of the magnitude of the struggles you’re always allowed to take care of yourself by processing and unloading some of the pain and anguish you carry. Emotional abuse is a torture that isn’t visible because it doesn’t leave any scar or bruises, it’s poisoning your soul slowly and brutally. Get away with it as quickly as possible. Seek help and believe in yourself.
Being able to survive doesn’t mean it was ever okay.