Will I Ever Get That One Call Again?

There are some confessions that don’t come out as words—
they spill out as heartbreak.

And today, mine spills here.

I keep replaying this one truth in my mind over and over again:

"I completely ruined your life by loving you."

If I hadn’t… maybe you would have been happier.
Maybe you would’ve stayed.
Maybe you would’ve been here today—
not as a memory, but as a living part of my world.

You wouldn’t have disappeared just because you didn’t want me to watch you suffer alone.
You wouldn’t have walked away thinking it would protect me.

Because if only you knew—
your absence hurts more than your pain ever could have.

We Were Always “One Call Away”… Were We Not?

We promised, again and again, through laughter, through madness, through long-distance silences, and through every storm life threw at us:

“No matter how bad it gets, we’ll remain one call away.”

I kept my promise.
I still keep it.
Even today—
especially today—
I am one call away.

But will I ever hear your name flash on my screen again?

Will there ever be a moment where you run to me,
the way you once did
when you needed a voice to steady your breathing,
a shoulder—even a digital one—
where were your tears allowed to fall?

Memories That Still Hold Me Together And maybe someday, they’ll bring you back too.

The way you used to say my name like it was the only word you trusted.

The late-night calls where silence spoke more than either of us did.

Your half-laugh, half-sigh when you were tired but still stayed because I asked you not to hang up.

The “I’m fine” that I always knew was a lie—but the kind you allowed me to read.

The comfort of knowing that even in distance, there was one place in this world where we both belonged—each other.

You once told me,
“You’re the only person I can be weak with.”
I don’t think you realised how much that meant to me,
how deeply it rooted itself inside my heart.

If Loving You Was a Mistake… I’d Still Choose It Every Time

Maybe I ruined things.
Maybe my love was too much.
Maybe you needed space, time, silence, healing.

But if I could go back—
if I could choose again—
I’d still choose you.

Every version of you.
The wounded you.
The laughing you.
The stubborn you.
The you who couldn’t stay—
and the you I still wait for.

I Am Still Here. Always.

No matter how much time passes,
no matter how far you run from the pieces of your past—
you never have to run from me.

I am still one call away.
I always will be.

The only question that breaks me is:

Will I ever get that one call again?