I knew there was something wrong when I was young & my male friends were unable to express their feelings to someone they liked, I knew there was something wrong when one of my male friends lost someone close & he could not even cry, I knew there was something wrong when someone would say “Daughters are more loving & caring ” all of it made me realise at a very early age, that patriarchy isn’t just affecting us women, but it has been affecting men too.

Society has taught that men should not be emotional, he has to be physically strong, to be aggressive, to be competitive. It has taught men to avoid their feelings which results in men being less sensitive once they grow up. Can you imagine how harmful all of it can be to a man since emotions are natural?

His masculinity is defined by how strong he is, his muscles become the sign of his strength, his tears become a sign of his weakness. If you teach a child at a very early age to not cry or if you silence him when he cries you can not expect him to understand sensitiveness, feelings when its depressed for years.

I can’t imagine how difficult it can be for them to not express when they want to, imagine you are hurt, you are in pain, you lost someone, but you can’t cry, you can’t express who you are and how you feel.

"Boys don't cry, but men do."

Yes, men get depressed too. There many men who get raped, molested or abused. There are many who are victims of domestic violence but very few come out in open to talk about it. They don’t even share it with their friends in fear of being judged. They don’t discuss because they believe no one will believe them.

At a very young age he is taught to be a protector and provider. They are loaded with responsibilities and are taught to be tough to support their family on their own. They are shamed if they show their interest in things like cooking, fashion, dance or any other such activity labeling them as ‘girly’. They feel insecure at a very early age if their body isn’t strong enough or big enough.

So girls,

Encourage your men around you to be themselves, don’t judge when they express. Let them be sensitive, talk to them, ask them of their fears, their dreams.



Profile of Himesh Jain
Himesh Jain  •  3y  •  Reply
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Sid  •  3y  •  Reply
boys don't cry, but men do......lovely article:)