Everything You Need To Know About Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

I love the movie Jab We Met, especially Geet. I relate a lot to one of her iconic lines, “Me toh apni favourite hu” (I am my favourite). But I believe there is a thin line between loving yourself truly and being highly obsessed with yourself while demeaning others. Geet was an example of loving yourself and being happy with yourself.

On the other hand, being extremely obsessed with yourself and being ignorant of other people’s needs, opinions and wants is an alarming sign of an underlying disorder known as Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

The following article throws light on various aspects related to narcissistic personality disorder.

What is a narcissistic personality disorder?

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a psychiatric condition in which a person sees themselves as superior to others. The condition makes the person overly confident in themselves, due to which they start to feel entitled to all the luxuries around them. Narcissistic personality disorder, also known as megalomania, is a complex personality disorder.

The disorder is explained by excessive feelings of self-importance and extreme cravings for admiration and power. However, the portrayal of such extreme behaviours is merely a cover-up for low self-esteem and unstable identification of oneself.

Who is a Narcissist?

In today’s era, it is very easy to think of someone as self-obsessed simply because they click too many selfies! But is being self-obsessed the same as being a narcissist? Being excessively self-obsessed is one of the traits of being a narcissist; however, one should remember it is not just this one condition that makes one a narcissist.

Oxford Dictionary defines a narcissistic person as “a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves.” A narcissist is a person who values themselves more than others by belittling the needs and wants of people around them. People diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder are termed narcissists. They perceive themselves to be of utmost importance. They depict a lack of empathy towards other people’s struggles.

The deeper root causes of becoming a narcissist are often in connection with past traumas, an unhealthy environment or a lack of emotional support from close relations.

Narcissistic traits and identifying them.

During my graduation, I met a guy who would often enlighten me with his unsolicited opinions about anything and everything that I wanted to try. I would often feel frustrated about this interference. I am sure you too, at one point in your life, must have come across someone who would boast about themselves at great lengths but shies away from the tiniest of criticisms.

It is better to identify such traits among yourself, family members or close friends so that you can help each other to overcome the repercussions of narcissistic personality disorder.

The following are the traits of a narcissist:

• Constant need for admiration

• Outbursts at the smallest of criticisms

• Exploitation of others without feeling any guilt or shame

• Lack of empathy

• Constant manipulation and gaslighting

• Sense of entitlement

• Becoming impatient and jealous due to lack of attention

• Exaggerate achievements and talents of oneself

• Lack of ability to listen to other people

• Trivializes other’s opinions and needs

Types of narcissisms.

Covert narcissist

What if I tell you some narcissists aren’t so self-absorbed? A covert narcissist is someone who has been diagnosed with a narcissistic personality disorder, but they do not display any signs of extreme self-indulgence. Ironically, they are shy and introverted in personality.

Also known as vulnerable narcissism or introverted narcissism, it exists in people due to a lack of self-confidence. Even though people with covert narcissism do not open up very much, they internally do tend to believe that they are better than others. Covert narcissists have a hidden sense of supremacy.

They try to stay away from the limelight, and they get defensive easily even at the smallest of criticisms. People who are covert narcissistic become passive-aggressive in their way of talking. Here are five traits of covert narcissism:

• They tend to put themselves down

• They have a hard time expressing themselves

• They have an “I’ll show you” towards other people attitude about their achievements

• They do not like socialising

• They hold long-term grudges.

Malignant narcissist

The most severely damaging sub-type of narcissistic personality disorder is a malignant narcissist. The reason why it is termed as most damaging is that it is a mixture of narcissistic personality disorder, sadism, aggression and anti-social behaviour.

Malignant narcissists use aggression to get their needs fulfilled. It is also known as pathological narcissism. It is a form of narcissism that is the major cause of destructiveness in people. People suffering from malignant narcissism destroy their close relations, as they do not consider other humans as equal or even important enough to exist.

Here are ten signs of a malignant narcissist:

Note: The first five signs are of anti-social behaviour, and the rest are of narcissistic personality disorder; both, when combined, show characteristics of a malignant narcissist.

• Severely aggressive

• Cheating others for personal gains

• Breaking law and order

• Highly irresponsible

• Lack of guilt after harming others

• Addicted to fantasies of high power, fame, success

• Constant need for praises

• Feels they are extraordinary

• Using aggression to handle criticism

• Lack of empathy for others

Narcissistic relationships.

Love or only one-sided benefits? As humans, we tend to overlook red flags during the early stages of a relationship because we are bombarded with brain chemicals that often impair our ability to see situations with logic. A narcissistic relationship is beneficial only for the narcissist.

Here are 10 signs of a narcissistic partner:

• A narcissistic person knows very well how to charm others. People usually tend to fall for this charming side of theirs while ignoring other red flags.

• Their sense of loving someone else is directly proportional to the benefits they receive from the other partner.

• They feel that the relationship exists only because of them. Narcissistic partners ignore the efforts and sacrifices made by the other partner for the relationship.

• They crave attention all the time. A partner diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder would term you selfish for putting your basic needs before theirs.

• A narcissistic partner lacks empathy. They are not good at dealing with other people’s emotions.

• They constantly think they are the better person in the relationship. A narcissistic partner would often demean the opinions and needs of the other partner.

• A very strong trait of a narcissistic partner is gaslighting. They are highly manipulative, and they try their level best to blur your sense of reality.

• As a person, you feel drained out of all your mental energy because of constantly pleasing the narcissistic partner.

• A narcissistic partner always wants to have the remote control of the relationship. It is they who decide what should happen and what should not.

• They use your emotional lows or insecurities against you so that you don’t break up with them.

Narcissistic abuse and strategies to cope.

Understanding the harm that their actions or words are causing to others can be a challenge in itself. The lack of acknowledgement from their side creates a situation wherein the other partner starts to lose trust in themselves. A person who has been in a narcissistic relationship often, over time, loses the ability to stand for themselves.

Their self-esteem takes a hit. The narcissists, often whether knowingly or unknowingly, inflict emotional abuse on their partners. People who have suffered from narcissistic abuse have gone through stages of manipulation, gaslighting and humiliation. Narcissistic abuse includes emotional abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse, and mental abuse.

If you are someone who has dealt with or is dealing with narcissistic abuse, here are the points you should keep in mind:

• Identify what you have been through. It might be hard for people to go through their traumas again, but it is important to know what exactly happened.

• Build your support system. Be vocal about your issues with someone whom you trust. More importantly, understand that whatever happened was not your fault.

• Set boundaries for yourself. Understand what makes you feel safe and comfortable and what doesn’t.

Rising culture of narcissism.

Narcissism can be defined as a psychological disorder. A person suffering from narcissism is highly self-absorbed. They live in their fantasy world. A person diagnosed with narcissism is often consumed by their appearances and achievements. They view themselves as extraordinary and lack understanding of the emotions of other people.

Narcissistic people tend to be extremely good at manipulation. They know how to turn your reality to their benefit. However, it has been found that narcissistic behaviours are a mask to cover up the lack of self-belief these people have. Narcissists have a hard time realising their own self-worth. A narcissistic person tries to humiliate others to feel better about themselves.

To conclude, narcissistic personality disorder is a rising phenomenon. An increase in advanced technologies has made our lives easier but without any doubt has also made most of us lonelier. Narcissistic personality disorder has many subtypes. The two most common of all those have been discussed in this article. The causes of this disorder could be hereditary, past traumas or environment-related. While there is no solid cure for narcissism, early diagnosis is really helpful for people with it. Not only does it help prevent damage to an individual’s life, but it also helps in enhancing their relationships with everyone else.