Diseased.

My bones now
Are the weakest they've ever been in years
Yet everytime they crack, I smile
For the sign that it gives
That I'm still alive.
My eyes sometimes
Gives me the blurriest of visions
And I'm still to know
Whether it's a shield against the harsh reality
Or is it a warning of something to come.
My shoulders have been paining real bad recently
Is it my body saying
That this age is too tender for all these storms,
Or is it that they're too tired of the heavily decked responsibilities where the pile doesn't seem to ever get over.

Sleep doesn't come to me easy
These days, it barely comes when I call
But you know,
Sleep is the only remedy for all this heartache.
I'm unaware of what illness this is,
Is it fatal?
Does everyone have it?
Seeking for answers I know I'll never get,
All I know for now is that I'm diseased.
With something so viral
It flings part to part,
Shakes the mind and stops the heart.
And I don't know how to recover,
Or if to recover at all.

-Anoushka.