Colours That Make Me Wish The World Was Colouress.

Today I woke up dreaming of colours. It was beautiful but someone painted us in colours that don't exist. I think I now understand that what colours mean to us. There's palatted in my hand that I use to paint the sky pink and the clouds yellow,and the walls of my room black, but this is how I see it.

1) Red of blood, destruction and wars and murders and crime scenes ( my body ) and lovers and kisses and my mother's sindoor and weddings and Rose's and slutty lipsticks and short dresses and asking for it and period blood being unHOLY discussions and tomatoes from my kitchen garden and mom commiting suicide after making tomato sauce for dad and dying in her pool of blood by his hand and me being colorblind to red for my entire life.

2) Green of meadows with my hand in his lap and grass in my hair and spinach rissoto his mother bakes for our first date and peas pulav that mom made ( I really miss her ). Green of weed everyone thinks this generation is high on ( 1 think its sadness and loneliness) and green tea that the gym instructors tells me will make me more attractive to men because it will help me lose weight.

2) Yellow of the sun and summer and mango icecreams and mom achaar every summer and happiness and my brother dying of jaundice and vomit on my bathroom floor and marigolds and egg yolks and beaches and mom turmeric stained fingers and nostalgia and banana and sweet corn and lemon juice and the heat burns on my face after acid attack.

4) Blue of lakes and ocean and calmness and sea and my depression pills and lilacs and drowing and choking and being unable breathe. Blue of bruises on my mom neck and blue of rage and sky and God's in sky that don't listen and blue of everything I see while I am trying to jump from the seventeenth floor.

5) Black of funerals and tunnels and endless miseries and his eyes and my hair and black cat and woman that cross roads of men and are cursed because they are a bad omen. Black of coals and my skin and destructionand sin ( him ) . Blue of the suicide jump, red of moms blood, green of school playground and black and all the colours that make me wish the worldwas colouress.