"I Can't Stop Thinking 'bout You"

"I can't stop thinking 'bout you. I can't get high, I can't get by, I can't get through". I heard these lyrics for the first time when I was trying to get over losing a few of my closest friends. This song by Dua Lipa spoke to me on another level, but at that point in time, I wished with all my heart that it didn't. It was a good song, but I wished I didn't relate to that song because I wish I didn't lose my friends. Bad things happen and sometimes, you can't do anything about it. You have to accept and move on, looking for something better. Everything worked out in the end for me however, I lost close friends, but I found family in college.

It's difficult to stop thinking about someone that your brain is constantly holding on to. You desperately try to forget about them sometimes, but it just doesn't work out. How do you do it? How do you stop pondering about where your ex might be right at this moment? How do you stop wondering if your crush likes you or not? All of this crowd in your head, it's taking up so much of your time and energy because it's not even in a queue. It’s all jumbled, too tough to be sorted in any way. The only way to organize it is to remove it. You are thinking about all of these things at the same time for approximately the entire day on a routine. That is bound to drive you crazy.

After 48 hours of listening to sad songs and wallowing over what could've been, I was
done. I told myself that I couldn't go on like this. Who were those people anyway to affect me so much? I cannot give anyone the satisfaction of walking all over me and leaving me questioning everything all the time. I have a few things that can help me get over them which I plan to completely use. Those things are hope, understanding and me. I have to have hope that this was fate making room in my life for even better people to come. Hope that I will find people that will help me blossom and not watch me wither instead. I have to understand that not everyone is here to stay and that thinking about them is hurting only me and no one else. Understand that my time is worth everything, but them. I lastly, have to depend on myself to feel like a queen that has so much to do that she has no time to think about the petty things in life. I have to realise that for me, if I ever say "I can't stop thinking 'bout you", it is solely for myself.