Teaching Your Child To Handle Failure

Roma Tambaku
Aug 14, 2019   •  88 views

Mistakes hurt a lot, at the same time they can be humbling. Yet, without them, we do not grow. Every mistake we make is a teaching experience and every success is built upon a foundation of mistakes and corrections. Failure helps us gain vital experience.

“If I lose, I’ll walk away and never feel bad because I did all I could. There was nothing more to do.” Said Boxing legend Joe Frazier.“Leave it all on the field” is the most common sport phrase. We just need to help our children understand ’No matter what the outcome is. Just put in your best efforts.’

A little disappointment can actually be beneficial for your child -- as long we teach him how to bounce back and cope with failure.

Ways to tackle mistakes

Many victories are won by being determined. We should not allow our children to give up on themselves. Maybe your son got poor grades in Math’s and now he feels there’s no way he can ever understand the subject. Help him pick himself back up and try again. Perseverance will lead to positive results and lifelong lessons.

Sense of Humor is also good way to deal with mistakes. Many times we land up doing really stupid things. The ability to laugh at those things makes it a lot easier to deal with it. If we make mistakes in front of our child, just laugh it off. This will help set a good example for them.

We need to use mistakes to teach our children about failure. As parents and teachers we naturally want our children to succeed. But can we recognize and understand that failure is a good and crucial step on the path to learning?

In fact Failure is a necessary part of being successful. It helps our brain grow and develop in important ways when we are faced with it. When children understand this concept, amazing things will happen for them as well (as for us).

‘Think about your biggest mistakes….It has taught you more, made you more courageous and strong than any success could have.’ Instead of letting your child fear failure, we just need to help them see it as a learning opportunity.

Let Failure Happen. Children benefit from experiencing failure. We know this and yet it’s hard for adults to accept. In fact, many parents equal good parenting with preventing their children fromstruggling.

Teaching them to delay gratification is also a good way. Whether it's eating sweets before dinner or skipping homework to go to the playground, children want what they want when they want it. But if we can encourage a child to wait it will help him develop self-control, a skill he can rely on throughout his life.

To nurture self-control, we can establish house rules -- such as ‘You must hang your clothes in the closet as soon as you take them off" -- and enforce these without exceptions. Once a child learns that the rules aren't negotiable, he'll more easily accept that it'shome work first and TV second or that his room must be cleaned up before playing. And soon enough doing these small things will be a habit.

Be a good role model.

Your children watch you and observe you all the time, so it's important to handle your own disappointments with grace. If you panic every time you misplace your wallet or curse when you drop something, you're not demonstrating healthy coping skills.

We can use phrases that will help your children cope with their own shortcomings, such as, "I'll try harder next time" or "I've done it once; I can do it again." And take responsibility when something goes wrong. You can say ‘Sorry I forgot to bring your toys. Silly Mom.’ This shows that adults can make mistakes too -- and also own up to them.

Challenging experiences are theonly waywe develop certain coping andproblem-solvingskills. If we shield children from adversity, keybrain connectionscannot develop. Hence it would be good if we can accept s, learn and celebrate them.

Celebrating Mistakes

Some ways tocelebratemistakes include:

·You can give children an opportunity totalkabout their mistakes and find what they learned

·You can introduce ‘Failure Sundays’ (a day of the week when you read about afamous person

who has failed)

·Giving your child a high-five each time a mistake is made.

We can embrace and celebrate failure as it is an excellent teacher. So why not celebrate each time it happens, knowing a new opportunity has just arrived?