Eighteen, a year I thought would be really significant and sort of life changing. But, was it really? Yes, it was but maybe not for the right reasons. See, I thought that I was an adult now, which meant that I could do all ‘adulty things’, even though I wasn’t entirely sure what ‘adulty things’ was, but I thought that I could figure all of that out, oh well. I did learn a lot of things about myself though and a lot about 'life' Here are a few of my observations that you might’ve come across before I did or maybe I just opened your eyes, you are welcome.
I hadn’t known what pure joy was until the day, I saw it for myself, ah! grocery shopping. I didn’t know that going grocery shopping on my own would have such a therapeutic effect. It felt so calm and all my anxiety was long gone. I had almost attained nirvana but, the line at the cash counter took all of that away. There’s something addicting about looking at things arranged properly and perfectly color coordinated, kept neatly in assigned sections. Major ASMR for the eyes, but let’s move on to another section, because I seem to be getting too fixated on this.
As you grow older, things start getting less and less important. Something that matters to you might become so unnecessary that you’d end up judging yourself for enjoying it. I was a people pleaser, I had this undying need to be liked by everyone no matter the cost. As a writer at eighteen, I lost my originality way too many times just because I thought my stories didn’t sound right, that maybe it was too boring that I was too boring and people wouldn’t appreciate anything, because I did it, which often led to me twisting my stories to such an extent that the story didn’t seem mine any more. I hated it, but I did it. A while ago, I learnt something too embarrassing. Two simple words that barely make a sentence, ‘it’s okay’. It’s embarrassing because it took me a while to understand that as long as I’m not happy writing it, there is no point in writing it. Hmm, maybe that’s why nobody reads my articles, sigh.
Remember when all of us were younger and we loved our birthdays and it was just so darn important to tell uncleji that I am not seven years old anymore, I’m eight and that’s a big number, nay huge number. According to me, I wasn’t a child, but it just mattered way too much. As the years go by and after you turn eighteen, you’ll stop caring that in a couple of months you’ll be nineteen and then twenty and so on. Well, either you stopped caring about that a while ago or you’ll stop caring now. I know most of this article just talks about not caring about things anymore, but that’s because so many important and new things come up that you just get sidetracked and eventually forget about them. Although the eye-opening felt wonderful.
So far, we have learnt that the author of this article used to be a people pleaser which indicates that the author is most likely an extrovert, someone who probably loves being the center of attention. Just a normal pain in the head and a loud person. Well, you’re right, I’m a little hurt though that you can think about a stranger like this, but oh well. Being an almost extreme extrovert, I’ve learned that ‘Me Time’, is best time. You need ‘Me Time’ to recharge yourself. Now ‘Me Time’ can be as simple as watching tv, reading a book, going out for a jog or even browsing on your phone, but it’s really necessary to feel like you can hear your thoughts and feel like your mind still works.
And lastly, life. By the time you have made it to the end of this article, you might think that the author must be a wise old lady with a lot of stories to share. Nope, I’m a nineteen-year-old who just got her driver’s license. But I did indeed save the most important one for the end. Life is actually life; we are actually alive and it is so easy to change that. You’ll never know how important your life is until you have gone through something traumatic. That’s what I have heard, although it wasn’t a major bike accident, my bike had some scrapes and so did I. Everyone was fine and no one got hurt too badly. Life is very fragile even though we may not think of it that way. It’s okay to appreciate that all of us are breathing and healthy and have a source of nutrition, clean water to drink and a roof over our heads.
These are just a few things I learnt as an eighteen-year-old, who knows what will change and what will sustain in the next year or so.