“You’re not good enough.”
“She doesn’t care about you.”
“He is way too good for you.”
It’s like you know you’re not great at anything at all. And the voices in your head assure you with that.
Today, I want you to know that you’re not the only one dealing with this. We all have our own insecurities. Some deal with them really well, and some don’t. Some hide their insecurities and some just can’t. Each of us have so many reasons to feel less- important or less beautiful or less- something else. Sometimes, we feel worthless.We are not confident enough, or we doubt ourselves way too much.
Escaping from your insecurities is a path towards self-love. There are some old wounds that you need to heal. There are certain changes that you need to make.
Firstly, you need to know your obstacles. You need to know what is stopping you from loving yourself.
It could be past criticisms. People commenting about you negatively. It may have been unintentional but it did hurt you in some way.
It could be self- criticism. The criticism from others has now made you feel negative about yourself. You keep criticizing yourself in your head. You keep telling yourself that you’re not good.
It could be the need for approval. You need to be re-assured for everything. It was just one friend telling you that you look great, but now you’re in desperate need of it always. You want someone to tell you that you are doing great.
It could be social influence. The things that you see on social media makes you want to be just like them. You’ve started comparing yourself with others.
Use these obstacles to build a path towards self-love.
Firstly, you need to forgive and forget. Forgive all the people and their words that have hurt you in the past. Let go of all the criticism. The more you think about those words, the more you’re letting go of yourself.
Next, accept yourself the way you are. Look at yourself and know that this is how you are and that you are the best. You need to love yourself. Start looking for what you’re good at and embrace your talents.
Choose to listen to yourself. Start learning to approve for yourself. You don’t need anyone else’ opinion. You tell yourself when you need to change, but the change is to make yourself a better version of you (and no one else!)
Lastly, stop comparing. You need to stop the comparison. That person and you are two completely different people with different opinions, different qualities and different talents. Stop caring about what others think, and start thinking about yourself. Compare yourself with the ‘old’ you instead.
There are many ways you can work on this.
Write about it, take a break from social media, start certain things over, and choose your friends wisely. You need to find your own ways to start appreciating yourself for who you are.
Remember that being insecure is not the end. Your insecurities can help you become better (for yourself). Don’t change for others. But if you feel like you need to see yourself better and happier, work towards change.
As you go through this transition, it is going to be a long journey and I can’t assure of it being easy. But what’s important is you know why you’re doing it and you don’t leave it mid-way. Because the most important thing to you is yourself and your happiness.